so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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