took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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