He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
