Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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