There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
