grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
