just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
