please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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