I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
