VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
