i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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