Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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