What did we do last night that was yellow?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
