i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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