guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
