my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
