its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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