There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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