His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
