Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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