mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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