Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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