She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
