Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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