ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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