he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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