I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
