but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
