you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
