that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
