So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
