Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
