my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
