you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
