if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
