I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
two words: eviction party
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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