i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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