I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
