I wish life had little blips of pornography
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I will be naked everywhere
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
