Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
