it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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