I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
