I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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