Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
