he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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