Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
