Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
