Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
