Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
We got so high we made milksteak
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Vodka?
Forever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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