i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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