What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You're like the curious george of whores
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
